Hello all starbucks newbies..

As my drink was violently stolen last Saturday by a very old lady who had no clue what she was taking off the counter.. (seriously how do mix up a REDish chai tea w/ a BLACK iced coffee?) it has come to my attention that there is a lot of  starbucks newbies out there that don't know proper starbucks etiquette (or as i like to call it...   the green and white temple where i pay my tithes).

Now these days there is a starbucks on every corner (or if your in Seattle then it's on all 4 corners) so unless you wanna walk in a act like a total "newb"... your pal tweezy has come up w/ a few pointers to make you just as snobby and snooty as the rest of us....   First off.. i don't want to hear about the Dunkin donuts vs. Starbucks vs. your favorite local spot...   I DONT CARE.  This is for anyone that's gonna pay a visit and not look like a total herb.

Here we go: 

1. Don't say I want a  "medium, large or small"

These don't exist!  In order to a total starbucks snob you must be able to use the proper sizes "tall, grande, venti" or if you wanna be really cool.... order a "short" it's on the hidden menu and it's one size smaller than a tall.  It's not advertised and you will look cool in front of your friends (except  for the fact that the cup is like a babie's sippy cup.. other than that it sounds cool)

2. Expect to wait for a couple of minutes on your coffee

The coolest coffee drinkers understand this... your not in a rush.. go peruse the "pro shop" or look @ the cds that your not gonna buy BUT DO NOT STAND IN FRONT OF THE PICKUP COUNTER!  There is nothing more newbie that to see someone posted up @ the pickup counter w/ his/her hands using the counter as a table to eat his muffin!  You look like a NEWB!!! All us trained 'pros" are standing behind you laughing at you.

3. Know how to order your coffee and make it phrased as long as possible:

Practice saying things like: "I want a grande, half calf, extra hot, vanilla non fat latte w/ citra added and an energy boost an extra shot red eye style"   things like that make you seem really cool.

Happy ordering!

tweezy 

Comments (24) >>

Starbucks
written by Emily, June 09, 2008

Tweez-ayyyyy

OK, STARBUCKS RAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish we had a Starbucks in our little town.
We don't have a Wal-Mart either, but NO STARBUCKS?!?!?!?!
I've GOT to talk to the mayor now!

I get a Tall. If I get a Venti, I'll get sick, 'cause I wanna scarf 'em down, they're so good!

I usually get a Caramel Frappuccino.

Much Love,
Emily

...
written by Anderson DaSilva, June 09, 2008

You should write a blog about all the comments you get to your blogs.

YAY,Starbucks!
written by Tryphaena, June 10, 2008

I totally agree! I hate when people stand in front of the pick-up counter,and they stand there and drink whatever they got at. the. COUNTER. Hello. that's what the tables are for. Hahaha!

w00t for star bucks!!!!
written by Becky, June 10, 2008

OMG starbucks ROCKS COMPLEATLY AND TOTTALY!!!
my friends some times say: oh well volcaino's is cheeper...
and im allways all like: YEA, BUT STARBUCKS IS SOOOOO WORTH THE EXTRA $1!!!!!!!

double chocolot chip frapacheeno for mee!!!

love ya tweezy!

YummMy StarBuckS =) x10!
written by Georgia-Faith, June 10, 2008

tweeeeezzz!!!!

YES! Starbucks is by far thee best coffee place ever! However, micky d's has some purty good iced coffee...but it ain't got nothin on StArBuCkS!Thats for sure! Carmel macciatto iced is totally delish! I never knew people actually considered new starbucks lovers newbees though...!Thats funny! I need to brush up my starbucks vocab/smart talk...

<3<3<3 stay strong in Jesus =)

...
written by Martin, June 11, 2008

Hmm .. still waiting for starbucks to come to holland

Starbucks coming to Sumter
written by Kim in South Carolina, June 11, 2008

Hey KJ,
Our tiny town is FINALLY getting a Starbucks! My oldest daughter has tried to get me to try their coffee, but I just don't like coffee, of any type. I have tried every additive just about. I can still taste that bitterness. I do like the other drinks they have, so I am really looking forward to Starbucks here. They have just started the building. I will remember your newbie tips when I go. Thanks for the insight. Have a terrific rest of the week.

Blessings,
Kim
Shaw Air Force Base
Sumter, South Carolina

Ill try it.
written by Reiko Rivera, June 11, 2008

I have never had starbucks before. Personally I don't like coffee because i have only tasted regular coffee. But our town doesn't have a starbucks. So next time i am near one I will try something.So, Tweezy what do you recommend?

Have fun with your coffee

Reiko

Starbuck$?
written by Doug, June 12, 2008

man i like you a lot but i hate starbuck$. when is your next album coming out? i had a 3 am paper route that i did on my moped ( i am 15 years old ) and i listened to your music the whole time. i live in iowa. when you came to rise above last year i talked to you back stage and i had the longhorns hat and you free styled with it. that was awesome. i was so mad when i found out you werent coming this year.... . LAKERS OR CELTS!? GO LAKERS

Coffee tastes like...
written by Bassman, June 12, 2008

Coffe tastes like ash. it smells so good though. starbucks should pump its smells out, um, pumps or something.Unfortunatly the nearest starbucks is like, 100 miles from my house. Owell
Godbless you and all you comment writers

Go Starbucks!!
written by Bekah, June 12, 2008

Woohoo! Go starbucks!!
My mom always orders a

short soy latte split shot sugar free white syrup extra foam, and make sure its the perfect temp!

(hey, I may not remember the temp she wants, but give me credit for rememberin that kinda coffee!)

and here I am behind her sayin

"Uh, ill get a tall caramal frapp."

...
written by Jessi Aldana, June 12, 2008

this actualy works seriously i just came from starbucks did what kj said and the lady was looking at me with supprised face as if she knew what i was doing i said can i have a venti vanilla latte in her mind shes like ''omg this boy knows what he is doing!'' lol anyways thanks kj after what you wrote i feel like a new man!!! God Bless &
Tamer
Out

Starbucks
written by alyssa, June 13, 2008

you must really like starbucks .................. just joking

...
written by Jenny, June 14, 2008

Wow, oneday I need to go to a Starbucks, I have seriously never been to Starbucks, but I have always wanted to go there. People also think that I am crazy because I have never been to Bojangles, lol. And thanks KJ, now when I do go there one day I will remember this! And then I won't look like a Newb!

starbucks
written by Culea Abraham, June 16, 2008

i love goin ta starbucks wit my friend, callyn at like 11:30, rite b4 they close and sittin at tha drive thru talkin 2 tha dude that works there bout life... lol... i'm 1 of those ppl that doesn't stray from tha ordinary: a tall caramel frap 4 me! i dont care if its not a long name, tha taste makes it worth more than ne other drink!

from one pro
written by Carissa, June 16, 2008

I am a true pro like yourself, the consequences of being a coffee adict and living in Seattle I guess. Tripple shot, black and white half a pump white extra hot skinny grande mocha no whip with chocolate drizzle. Expert I know Saw you on the revolve tour...lookin foward to freedom fest! I will be the one with the starbucks cup lol

OKAY HOLLDDD UP!!!!
written by MJ, June 24, 2008

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT
HOLD UP!!!
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STARBUCKS?!?!?!/
BEANERS (okay so biggbys) ISS WWAAAYYY BETTER ANY WAY!!!!!

The Evil Old Ladies Of Starbucks!
written by Hannah Thompson, June 26, 2008

Seems whenever i go to starbucks and bring my knitting or crocheting stuff (when my friends aren't around because i'm a teenager so thats not cool...) its like a swarm of old ladies attack me!
they either stare at me and smile from a distance..for a lonnnng time, or, they walk up and start telling me stuff like "Kitting is a lost art your generation,good job!" OR, they take what i'm knitting and poinr out what i did wrong...sheesh, old ladies these days....

from ur punk girl Anna!
written by Anna, June 27, 2008

yo...ya I LOVE starbucks too...It's sooooooo awesome getting
high on caffine, but mountain will always be number one caff. drink. I'm also high on christ all the time every day.
It's the best ever!!!!!!!!!!!! I go crazy. -ur punk girl! :] :] :] :] *Anna*

I needed those tips.. ;)
written by Rachel, July 05, 2008

Well kj, thanks for the tips. I make my order as short as possible (as in,I'm like, "I want a Carmel Frappochino." Now I know why they give me the blank stare. ) And I also am ALWAYS i a hurry. I'll be sure to lengthen my order and slow down next time.

Yummmm!!! <333
written by Kali, July 06, 2008

Emahgosh! I love Starbucks!!! :d But i have to drive (well my mom ) 45 minutes to get there! It is supaa delish! It rawks my sox! Theres one in the mall and its always packed! That just shows how goooood it is!
<3 ~Kali

I hate that!
written by Anna, July 25, 2008

I have no patience for stupidity.

thanks KJ
written by Ricky, September 07, 2008

we really appreciate it
prayin' for ya!

Ricky-thebarista

Haaaayyyyy Tweezey-tha-sneezy (or whutever...)
written by Ur # 1 Fan, September 20, 2008

Hey, FYI, i took your tips to heart. My new Favorite drink is (get this) a "passion-tea-no-classic-with-three-pumps-of-melon" You should try it. Lol.well,tweezy,i'll t2yl.
ur number 1 (and only number 1) fan,
Rachel

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