So my little brother graduated from Merchant Marines College today...
First off congrats to him for graduating from one of the hardest engineering colleges in the country... He's exceeded his older brother in the fact that I technically have never graduated college ( I did correspondence from my minister's liscense but never graduated from college... ). He's incredibly smart in that field (engineering) and managed to almost graduate cum laude... I am a very proud older brother.
I flew up to see it happen in Kings Point NY. this AM. and as I'm sitting there sweating in my suit and tie (minus the shades that I wish I had brought) I made a few observations resulting from my boredom and/or inabilty to sit still/antsiness.
So w/ June in mind when all thoughts begin to turn to graduating... summer... life... etc.. I'd like to dedicate this blog to the class of 08'.
Here we go:
Grad ceremonies should be wrapped up in 30 minutes: Is this humanly possible? I'm not really sure to be honest because I've never been to a graduation ceremony that was concluded in under 30 min (except for my high school grad. and that was because it was outside and it downpoured.. best grad. ever). What if we had a massive clock onstage and the goal was to beat the clock? If you can get it all over with before 30 min. everyone onstage gets free slurpee's from 7eleven... i think that would hurry up the speeches. In the middle of the ceremony there should be jousting/sword fighting/concert: This would take the ceremony to the next level.... can you imagine if halfway through it out comes 2 dudes on a horse w/ swords and lances, and then it's concluded w/ a rock concert? Sure it may be a lil bloody and the concert may be loud... but talk about jazzing it up. Air horns/yelling/screaming/explosive noises should all be banned: This only applies when your sitting next to the "obnoxious" family... you know the ones that shoot off bottle rockets and fireworks when there son/daughter walks across stage to get their diploma.... I mean I know your proud of your kid but is this really necessary when they graduated 6th grade? All people giving speeches should be required to do it w/ a timebomb strapped to there chest: I would be generous and give them a ticking timebomb that would go off in 15 minutes unless you wrap up your speech in the allotted time... I think this measure will allow the speeches to be sped up considerably and will make a much better speech... and if they don't make it in time... well... lets just say that the ending will be the most interesting thing of their speech. Only funny/entertaining/interesting people should give the commencement speech: Unless you have your own sitcom/movie/major album release/comic book hero/8 foot tall/professional wrestler/good dancer/cool guy.... then your not allowed to give the commencement speech... Or at least if you're not one of the above you better bring me a slurpee from 7eleven when you're done.
Congrats to the class of 08' -tweezy
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