5 rules of waffle house.. / by The Paradigm Collective

Hey yall..

I’ve been in the south quite a bit lately and figured I’d bring yall my top 5 rules of waffle house… Feel free to agree or disagree.

  1. Waffle house is best experienced after midnight..

If your gonna really get the waffle house effect post up in there after 12ish.. Here’s where u get to see how and why waffle house is the best… Where else can u rub shoulders (literally) with a trucker, club goer and peeps that work the night shift @ walmart.. Good times.

  1. Your check should stick to the table..

My algebra equation for waffle house is the following:

Dirty table + spilt syrup + check = best waffles ever.

Clean table + no syrup + check = run away

  1. Your server should be named “Dee”

She should ignore you for the first five minutes.. Chew gum and remind you that they are cash only! Tip her generously and give her a bonus if she goes on break right after you get your toast..

  1. Waffle house jukeboxs should be used for one thing..

Playing the same backstreet boys “backstreets back” song over and over.. My advice is to stick 5 dollars in quarters in anonymously and see how long it takes before the cook chucks his hat off and spatula and unplugs the jukebox.

  1. All waffles must be dipped in syrup and combined with sausage Patties..

Nuff said.